Three Ring Circus

Ivy and Noah were born on the 30th of November 2005. (Two hours shy of the 1st of December).

Our caesarean was originally booked for the 23rd of December and their estimated date of delivery was the 12th of February.

They were born at 30 weeks gestation.

On this day the Feast of Saint Andrew is celebrated. Interestingly the first day of advent.

Our good doctor’s name was Andrew. (Coincidence, fate oR just plain creepy, you decide).

 

Leading up to the birth of Ivy and Noah (part two). Part one here

Wednesday came and I had the infusion. I did feel alot better, in truth but the pain I was complaining about, constantly, had not decreased.

I started to niggle on and off after the infusion but it settled. My fear did not and the gentle pushing from the midwives to have a tour of the NICU was very distressing. The tears fell often. I was classed as antenatally depressed (and I was, I knew it).

I needed to keep it together though so that I could have weekend leave to see the girls’ dance concert on the Sunday. That was my goal.

The Saturday was supposed to be my first ever baby shower. Nothing like doing things backwards.

I had a little mantra that I would chant everyday…just hold on until after the dance concert, just hold on…

Before I throw you into Ivy and Noah’s birth, I thought it would be good to give you a bit of history as to how we got to this point. To understand how I was feeling, I guess you need to know William’s story.

Read it if you like but basically;

I am a midwife.

Imogen and Madeline and Lily were all born by caesarean section.

I made a decision to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean) and researched it for a long time before deciding it was the right thing to do.

In the second stage of labour (the pushing part) my uterus ruptured, along my old scar, a little into the upper segment and down to my cervix.

William was severely compromised because of this.

Although, ultimately, it was found that William had a critcal aortic valve stenosis and some mitral valve abnormalities too, that were undiagnosed on ultrasound, his birth did not do him any favours.

Even though the cardiologist said that Will only had a 10% chance on the operating table (very small as his stenosis was severe) if everything had been perfect and he had received the surgery as soon as he was stabilised, I blame myself.

I will live with this forever.

I still believe and advocate VBAC. Statistically, only .98% of women attempting a ‘trial of scar’ will have uterine rupture. 1:200 births, whether it be after one or two caesars.

William and I were the first uterine rupture with death of a baby in 467 VBACs in our hospital.