I know how she feels…
My eldest is growing up. FAST. Two minutes older than her sister but oh, so different. Socially, emotionally and physically.
I can’t stand it.
She’s not allowed to move into that next stage.
I feel… old.
Last night she was in tears because the dress we bought for her to wear to the year six farewell, two months ago, no longer fit her. Her body has changed. She is not overweight, in fact she is just right for her height but because all her friends are small, because her twin sister is too, she feels out of place, frumpy, fat.
I know how she feels. Although I was overweight amongst my peers and the brunt of everyone’s joke, the feelings of hurt are the same.
That feeling of not quite fitting in, that thorn amongst the roses feeling. *SIGH* I so didn’t want that for my girls. I wanted… well, I wanted conformity. I wanted them to blend in. I wanted them to have beauty, grace, a great fashion sense. I wanted what I lacked in the school environment for my girls.Not so much popularity… oh, ok, I wanted that too. ALL the things I never had.
Today my Mum took Imogen to the shops and she picked, for herself, a new dress. The sales people were lovely and Imogen’s self esteem flourished under so many people telling her she looked beautiful.
Of course, I know she is gorgeous but she is at that terrible stage when all that little girl confidence just flies away, leaving in it’s wake the insecurities of adolescence.
While she was shopping I started thinking about whether it was so terrible to stand out from the crowd. She has a wonderful nature, my Immy. Wise beyond her years. That in itself is beautiful.
As a pre teen, being different sucks. It does but looking on it as an adult, was I really that different and is she?
Why are children so horrible to other children? Why pick and tease and make their peers feel small and insignificant?
Probably because they feel the same way; Are the same.
Is it a learned thing, something that they see their parents do? Or something that is just part of the make up of some kids?
Anyway, I’m getting away from myself.
She bought a dress. She looks beautiful and she feels beautiful too.
I just want to make it an easy transition, if I can’t stop this hurtling into the teenage years…is that too much to ask?
Oh I am so there with my Immy!
Comment by Cellobella — December 7, 2007 @ 11:02 pm
With a mother like you she can’t go too far wrong.
Real nice entry tiff.
Comment by Xbox4NappyRash — December 8, 2007 @ 4:32 am
I remember being “the bigger girl” by comparison. It’s so hard.
Comment by Dawn — December 8, 2007 @ 8:13 am
Oh I wanted to cry for her in the beginning but by the end I just felt she was so lucky to have a Mamma like you who actually thinks about these and works hard to give their children the best they can… now I think she is one heck of a lucky young lady! When my girls are at this stage can I come and ask your advice?
Comment by katef — December 8, 2007 @ 10:18 am
She is gorgeous!!! I remember what it was like when Veronica was on the ‘cusp’ I so wanted to make her transition painless too..
*sigh* All we can do is hug them and watch our gorgeous little girls turn into gorgeous young women xoxox
cheers Kim
Comment by kim — December 8, 2007 @ 2:22 pm
I can so relate to this post. I haven’t grown a centimetre since I was in grade six! I am 175…so I towered over everyone. Which equalled being big and fat! When I look at photos from the past I am sad I didn’t realise the truth or listen to those reassuring voices around me. Agggh
Get Girlosophy by Anthea Paul. Any of them are great.
Comment by Joh — December 8, 2007 @ 5:45 pm
I can honestly recommend a book called ‘Queen Bees and Wannabes’ it is fabulous. My Moo was a Queen Bee. Soon after reading that book she was ‘dethroned’ so to speak and it was not the catastrophe I was fearing. Apparently the movie that was on tonight ‘Mean Girls’ is based on it.
Read it yourself first and see what you think.
And your baby is beautiful. You know it will take until she is older for her to realise that.
Comment by Kelley — December 8, 2007 @ 9:07 pm
I know exactly how Immy feels! I was taller and wider than my friends in Primary school, but in no way was I overweight. I was just bigger.
Comment by Veronica — December 8, 2007 @ 9:31 pm
I don’t think it’s too much to ask, and, although I’ve never raised any kids at all, well, it seems like taking her to find her own dress, to follow her own ideas about what makes her feel beautiful, and then being with her as she FEELS beautiful, is just the right thing to do.
Comment by EA — December 8, 2007 @ 11:38 pm
besutiful post. you are a wonderful momma! She is so beautiful as well. I can tell she glows from the inside and out!
Comment by Donna aka Nesting Momma — December 9, 2007 @ 1:42 am
I feel for your daughter. I’ve definitely been there. I don’t look back on my childhood years with fondness. Partly because I hated myself but mostly because of the way other kids treated me.
Comment by Summer — December 9, 2007 @ 9:01 am