My eldest is growing up. FAST. Two minutes older than her sister but oh, so different. Socially, emotionally and physically.
I can’t stand it.
She’s not allowed to move into that next stage.
I feel… old.
Last night she was in tears because the dress we bought for her to wear to the year six farewell, two months ago, no longer fit her. Her body has changed. She is not overweight, in fact she is just right for her height but because all her friends are small, because her twin sister is too, she feels out of place, frumpy, fat.
I know how she feels. Although I was overweight amongst my peers and the brunt of everyone’s joke, the feelings of hurt are the same.
That feeling of not quite fitting in, that thorn amongst the roses feeling. *SIGH* I so didn’t want that for my girls. I wanted… well, I wanted conformity. I wanted them to blend in. I wanted them to have beauty, grace, a great fashion sense. I wanted what I lacked in the school environment for my girls.Not so much popularity… oh, ok, I wanted that too. ALL the things I never had.
Today my Mum took Imogen to the shops and she picked, for herself, a new dress. The sales people were lovely and Imogen’s self esteem flourished under so many people telling her she looked beautiful.
Of course, I know she is gorgeous but she is at that terrible stage when all that little girl confidence just flies away, leaving in it’s wake the insecurities of adolescence.
While she was shopping I started thinking about whether it was so terrible to stand out from the crowd. She has a wonderful nature, my Immy. Wise beyond her years. That in itself is beautiful.
As a pre teen, being different sucks. It does but looking on it as an adult, was I really that different and is she?
Why are children so horrible to other children? Why pick and tease and make their peers feel small and insignificant?
Probably because they feel the same way; Are the same.
Is it a learned thing, something that they see their parents do? Or something that is just part of the make up of some kids?
Anyway, I’m getting away from myself.
She bought a dress. She looks beautiful and she feels beautiful too.
I just want to make it an easy transition, if I can’t stop this hurtling into the teenage years…is that too much to ask?