Insomnia, when you really want to sleep but can’t.
I don’t have trouble falling asleep. Ever.
The days are so busy that by the time I fall into bed, I am exhausted.
Insomnia came to visit me when William died. Not at first, not in those first few, grief stricken months, when my body screamed "ENOUGH"! and shut itself down into blessed, dreamless sleep. It crept in slowly, with the nightmares and over the years has come for repeat visits like an unwanted relative, who doesn’t know when they have worn out their welcome.
Maybe I had too much coffee yesterday. Maybe but I don’t think so.
I went to bed at 10:30 and Ivy woke at 11:03 and for some reason I could not find sleep again. Even though it found Ivy at around 2am, it didn’t allow me the same courtesy. This (early) morning, sleep is not my friend. I spit in it’s general direction. It has forsaken me. Left my mind to run wild and my body to crave it like some illegal substance.
This wasn’t supposed to happen until I was old. Insomnia, isn’t it the disease of the aging?
Here I sit in the dark with my new constant companion, Laptop. I’ve read the comments of my bloggy friends and sent a few off. I’ve pondered why my dogs are scratching themselves like mad when they were only bathed in flea shampoo and treated with Frontline yesterday. I’ve listened to the sounds of the sleep filled house and I have wished I were there, in sweet oblivious sleep.
I am going to pay for this come daybreak.
I’ve always been a lousy sleeper, but in recent times I’ve become aware that’s it’s down to an over active mind, constantly turning, never winding down.
Try your best to clear your mind towards the end of the day, wind yourself down.
A tip there could be, instead of hitting bed exhausted at 10:30, just totally relax from 10:30 to 11, wind down, on the bed, in a chair, out on the porch, wherever.
The sleep that comes will be more rewarding.
Good Luck.
Comment by Xbox4NappyRash — November 27, 2007 @ 4:44 am
You have my most heartfelt sympathies… and were it not for the time difference, you would likely have my company as well. Sleep has not been my friend of late either. Sending lots of sleep vibes your way for a better night… they sure aren’t doing me much good : P
Comment by childlife — November 27, 2007 @ 12:11 pm
That can’t be easy. At all!
Sometimes I am like that, laying in bed, just trying to sleep. It sucks.
I hope sleep finds you and embraces you tonight. Also? I hope it finds Ivy. All night.
Comment by Veronica — November 27, 2007 @ 9:02 pm
I go to so late I have no problem going to sleep … though I woken often and early sometimes. I hoep sleep finds both you and IVY on the same night.
Comment by Trish — November 28, 2007 @ 2:43 pm