Panic!
Okay, breathe.
There are still four days to go, five until their party.
I’m not ready! I’m not ready! I’m not ready!
It’ll be okay. It will all come together. It always does.
You’re disorganised for a reason. It’s because you’re not ready for this, for them to turn two. For them to lose their baby faces, their chubby baby arms.
Why didn’t I feel this way when they were one?
It was such a whirlwind year, it literally was a blur. Do you actually remember their birthday last year?
I was definately more organised.
You need to see this for what it is. The end of your baby making. Never to have that squirming life within you, never to breathe in that earthiness of your newborn, look into their eyes for the first time. It is the end of a right of passage.
There is so much to do, to get ready. I haven’t wrapped presents, haven’t done party shopping, haven’t done anything much, just sat and watched them play, listened to them talking, babbling to one another, me.
You’ll be okay, you’ll get through this. It hurts, oh I know it does but there will be new passages to cross, new stages to take your mind away from losing your babies to the ever moving circle of life.
It only seems like yesterday that we welcomed them into our lives.
Yes but now it is time to move forward, enjoy the here and now.
Okay. Tomorrow. I will start fresh tomorrow. Tonight, I need to remember their tiny little fingers wrapped around my one clumsy pointer and my heart. I need to remember the journey we travelled to get to this point. Is that alright? Just one more night to think of them as my babies? Then I will throw myself head on into toddlerhood… and making cakes.
(((hugs)))
Sometimes I think I can see Amy grow. It is bittersweet watching her grow up.
Comment by Veronica — November 26, 2007 @ 8:47 pm
I know. I just watched my older son turn TEN.
How could it be?
Comment by slouching mom — November 26, 2007 @ 11:53 pm
I remember their birthday last year - it was good fun .I am so looking forward to Saturday … it is bittersweet for you - I don’t want S & J to turn two for a logn time LOL.
Comment by Trish — November 27, 2007 @ 12:15 am
Oh, wow… that’s a familiar ache! We would like to have one more, but don’t know if that is even possible. I have tried to soak up every ounce of my youngest’s milestones as if they are the last I will ever see. I hope when the day comes, it will just dissolve into pure joy!
Hugs!
Comment by childlife — November 27, 2007 @ 12:18 pm
Coach Outlet Online
Comment by Coach Outlet Online — December 2, 2011 @ 6:33 pm
The collection offers a new take on the classic hobo style, Coach Outlet Store Online with each piece having its own unique little twist.
Comment by Coach Outlet Store Online — December 15, 2011 @ 3:59 pm
They are very charming handbags which would immediately bring huge smiles on your faces on the spot. One of the most fascinating traits of Michael Kors handbags is that they retain many luxurious kinds of styles and designs, catching your eyes on the dot
Comment by Michael Kors Bags — February 29, 2012 @ 5:20 pm
I just discovered your place on online and looked through a few of your early writting.excellent post,keep up the good work. I just added up your RSS feed to my list. Looking forward to seeing more from your post, thanks!
Comment by abercrombie fitch paris — April 21, 2012 @ 6:44 pm
Jerseys are separated into three ranges, authentic, premier and replica.
Comment by NFL Jerseys Shop — October 10, 2012 @ 4:55 pm
Into the slightly chilly autumn, a variety of boots in the season quietly captured the hearts and minds of the fashion women.
Comment by Cheap Nike Shoes — October 17, 2012 @ 11:30 am