Three Ring Circus

When I was pregnant with the first set of twins, it was after a struggle with three years of infertility.

When I was pregnant with the second set of twins, it was after the loss of our son. The struggle of grief and guilt.

When I was pregnant with my first set of twins, I didn’t have a day of morning sickness.

When I was pregnant with my second set, I was sick every day until they were born. Morning, noon and night.

When I was pregnant with set number one I took everything, after the first twelve weeks, for granted.

With the second set, every day was a gift.

Pregnancy with Imogen and Madeline was innocent and new -  that first flutter, kick, roll. The smells, cravings and body changes.

Pregnancy with Ivy and Noah was scary. I did not take the time to enjoy and appreciate all those blessings.

When I was pregnant with my first set of twins, I was young and niave.

With the second set, I felt old and jaded. 

When I was pregnant with Imogen and Madeline, I didn’t know the sex of my babies until they were born. The ultrasound was a fairly new diagnostic tool.

When I was pregnant with Ivy and Noah, I not only knew that I was carrying a boy and a girl, I had 3D ultrasonic photos of their…um…private parts.

The first twins’ ultrasound, David almost fell off his chair and remained silent and pale for hours.

The second twins’ ultrasound was…almost identical (with the exception that David did not enquire if the second embryo floating on the screen was a fault in the machine).

With the first set of twins, I was ‘over it’ by the time I was 28 weeks.

With the second set, I was grateful to make it to 28 weeks.

But with both, as with all the others, above everything else, I was just happy to achieve pregnancy.

Now that I can’t have any more babies, I long for pregnancy even more.

This entry is part of the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas Collaboration.

Every year we take photos and make our own Christmas card. We have done it since Immy and Maddy were six months old. Some have been better than others. Some years have been easier to shoot, the kids easier to pose, happier to oblige their photo junky mother.

Last year, Ivy and Noah were sitting… just. I had no idea what we were going to do, so I made it up as I went along. I ended up handcrafting an ‘H’ and an ‘O’ and taking a series of photos of the children. It worked out well and everyone seemed to like it.

This year… This year is different because the twins are not only walking, they are running and they won’t stay still for anything much. I’ve got my long lense and my steady hand ready but will that be enough? What are my chances of getting one of all of the kids together? Next to none, I suspect.

After the stress of last year, I wasn’t going to be doing any more Christmas photo cards. I was going to call it a day. (I say that every year). So why am I planning to do it all again? A very good question.

I’m crazy.

It’s a kind of family tradition now, I suppose and I can’t seem to stop it.  Every year, at about this time, my mind starts to click through different ideas.

This year I am stuck and I need help.

Any ideas? Anyone?