Three Ring Circus

Monday was our decided vegie day.

A day of lounging around the pool, walking on the beach, kids club for the children… a chance to recover and recoop. While Mum, Lily and the boys slept in, The big and little twins came for a walk along the beach with us.

As we were walking, several Japanese tourists started noticing Ivy and Noah as the toddled on the  sand. Every so often one of them would sweep the babies into their arms and photos would be snapped by the hundreds. Okay, by the dozens but it was interesting to us that they were smitten with our blonde haired, blue eyed cherubs. We had experienced it before with Imogen and Madeline but not to the same extent. They all loved Noah and he was seriously posed, positioned and modelled in the photos, so as to show off his fair features. When they discovered that the little ones were twins there was more modelling to be done. Noah and Ivy took it all in their stride.

The day passed blissfully and slowly, the babies had a long morning sleep, the kids swam and ate and went to kids club. I did a bit of shopping for the children. It was a day of well earned rest and we would be thankful for it the next day… because the next day was White Water World Day! (Insert Dragnet theme here).

We needed to be at Seaworld by 9:30 so that we could book AJ in for a surprise! It was busy that Sunday morning and AJ was bubbling with excitement. It was the first time he, Mal and Mum had been. When we  finally got through the gates (David had a little trouble because the ticket collector didn’t believe that he, Ivy and Noah were part of our party - seeing as he payed the $64 per adult and $42 per child (I can’t bare to do the maths) he felt that he had a right to argue the point), we guided the gaggle to the booking in area where we had orginised for AJ to go snorkelling in Shark Bay.

His session was not for an hour so we sauntered through the park, stopping to look at the dolphins and the dugongs before making our way to the waiting area. I was not in a particularly good mood because I had forgotten my hat and had no sunglasses. The sun was very bright and the weather was already hot to my unaccustomed body. My mother had also decided that she was going to give up smoking and this was her first day of bad withdrawal symptoms, so she was grotty as well. AJ was sublimly happy though as he prepared for his dive.

Ivy and Noah were overtired and sick of being in the pram and the girls’ patience was wearing thin with all the waiting around. They wanted to go on this ride and that ride and see this and that. In the end I let them go to look at the polar bears and the exploratory pool. Mum took the babies for a walk and all was quiet for a while.

David bought me a hat and Imogen lent me her sunglasses (see attached picture for a good laugh). What is it with these large goggle - like sunnies? Where have the sleek styles of the eighties gone? Not a Blues Brothers’ style in sight! SO, with the sun off my face and out of my eyes, Ivy now asleep and Noah happy to sit with David we watched our now 11 year old foster son in the clear waters. His smile was worth it all.

After that was finished it was lunchtime, so we sat under a tree and decided what to do next.

The beauty of having such a big family is that they all watch out for one another but one of the hardest things, with such a big age gap in children is how to divide your time. We decided that we wanted to see the dolphin show at 2pm and so we let the big children go together on all the scary, high powered rides and David, Mum and I took Malachy, Ivy and Noah over to the little kids rides. We were to meet up twenty minutes before the show. The big kids took off to line up for the first ride and we had a ball with the babies and Mal.

We only had one incident the whole day and that was when Lily came crying hysterically to us post ride on The Pirate Ship. Apparently the ride controller had joked that he was going to flip the whole thing over and Lily, who had tried her hardest to be brave, so as to impress he idol, AJ, lost the plot completely and screamed for the ride to stop. Imogen, her protective sister, ordered the ride to halt and then promptly told off the young adult for scaring a little girl! I think the worst part of it for Lily though was that she had fallen from grace in AJ’s eyes. He called her a baby and stomped around the park as though his life had come to a sudden end because Lily didn’t like the ride. We soon calmed her down though and things settled quickly after that.

We made our way to the arena where the dolphin show was performed and grabbed a seat. Everyone was hot and bothered and so Mum saved the day with ice creams all around. Ivy and Noah enjoyed their chocolate paddle pop, right down to the very last, sticky, roll down your arm, dripping lick. I took photos as evidence. Now when Noah sees them, he growls in a low rumble… ‘I like de clocolate!’

Indeed he did.

The show was amazing! These beautiful, intellegent creatures stole our hearts.

We finished the day by going to the water park. Noah discovered he was not scared of this type of bottle (water) at all and had a wonderful time splashing his mother. Ivy found that things looked better from a different point of view and fashioned her new Cupid Girl swimmers. I only wished that I had brought mine because my pants and top were now virtually soaked through.

That evening, we went to dinner at a Japanese Restaurant. AJ and Mal were amazed with the acrobatics performed by the chef as he cooked in front of us. Noah decided that he would choose this night to declare his independence and refused to eat unless he was feeding himself. Ivy took a liking to pickled japanese vegetables and the waitress was so amazed that she brought her another bowl (complimentry). Mum had purchased another packet of cigarettes and although she felt beaten by her 40 something year old habit, she was smiling and relaxed again. David and I basked in the glow of a successful day…well, for a short time anyway, before Noah tipped his whole bowl of fried rice onto the floor.

I think we need to talk about what our needs are, regarding Ivy and Noah’s care. I think that you don’t quite understand what our expectations are of you. I want you to know because, I have come to like you, even trust your opinion and I would like to continue having you as Ivy and Noah’s doctor.

When we first met you, it was after a horrible, sickly Winter. I knew it would be like that because all of my children have not enjoyed good health, so I expected that the babies would be the same.

Our hospital referred paediatrician had been no help, was hard to contact and when we did manage to aquire an appointment, she belittled our concerns. When the twins were put in hospital, on oxygen for a week because we were unable to see her and I went elsewhere, she became angry and said that we could not give the babies ‘bitty’ care, that they needed someone, who knew their history and could treat them appropriately. So we made the decision to find a new paed, one, who could give us good continuity of care. When we asked around, the NICU nurses said you were wonderful. Good with the parents.

With regards to our needs; as I am a registered nurse, I am quite able to manage most things at home for a prolonged period. I am comfortable with asthma plans and medication and I am vigilant when they are ill.

I am not overprotective because we have experienced a neonatal death. I have eleven years as a parent of sickly children and I know how to look after them. I feel that I am looking after their health to the best of my ability. We are their parents. It is what we are supposed to do.

If we make a phone call to your rooms to let you know that the babies are ill, it is because we are starting to struggle. It is not just to say hello. Giving two children nebulisers every two to three hours is exhausting and you often start to second guess yourself, after a week of sickness, in the wee hours of the morning.

We appreciate it when you phone us back to discuss things, it gives us reassurance and helps us to continue on at home. That is basically all we, David and I, as the parents need, unless the children are desperately ill, then we will manage Ivy and Noah’s chronic illness at home.

On the Thursday and Friday of last week, the twins were very unwell and we phoned you as a courtesy, to let you know that we were starting prednisone. You called us back, which was good and asked us to call again on Monday. Sunday saw Noah in hospital and Ivy was very close to it, however we managed to keep her at home. We called you on the day you asked us to with no response. On the Tuesday, when Ivy was worse we called again.

Today is Thursday and we have still had no response. I would have liked to discuss a few things with you regarding medications but as you have not been in contact with us, I have had to make my own decisions on these. I find this quite stressful and worry that I will be doing the wrong thing for the children. It would have been good to run these things by you.

I find it very hard to trust doctors. As you know, the services in our area are poor and to find a good general practitioner is near impossible. Our last GP has just left the practice he was in and so we have to start looking again. You have known Ivy and Noah now for over twelve months, you know the family history and our concerns. We feel that we have built up a good rapport with you and we are guided by your opinions.

Our expectations are that you will be there for Ivy and Noah’s health and for us as their parents. Our only ask is open, honest communication when we need it. We value this the most.

I understand and am thankful that Ivy and Noah’s condition is not life threatening however, constant chronic illness is tiring and often hard to control. It would be helpful to have a good support team, something that is strongly recommended by Westmead Children’s Hospital. We also understand that you are extremely busy and that we are not the only family that you are looking after.

Thank you for everything you have done for us, to date. I hope that you understand our needs a little better now and that you will be able to support these.

Kind regards,

Ivy and Noah’s Mum