My sister in law sent this to me! Very funny, accurate and VERY Ivy.
Laugh it up people but this is my reality!
OK, here’s my situation. My Mummy has had me for
almost 7 months. The first few months were great–I
cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, day or
night. Then something happened. Over the last few
weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep thru the
night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but
it is only getting worse. I’ve talked to other
babies, and it seems like it’s pretty common after
Mummies have had us for around 6 months. Here’s the
thing: these Mummies don’t really need to sleep.
It’s just a habit. Many of them have had some 30
years to sleep–they just don’t need it anymore. So
I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby
Shuffle. It goes like this: Night 1–cry every 3
hours until you get fed. I know, it’s hard. It’s
hard to see your Mummy upset over your crying. Just
keep reminding yourself, it’s for her own good.
Night 2–cry every 2 hours until you get fed.
Night 3–every hour.
Most Mummies will start to respond more quickly
after about 3 nights. Some Mummies are more alert,
and may resist the change longer. These Mummies may
stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don’t
give in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS
KEY!! If you let her STTN (sleep through the night),
just once, she will expect it every night. I KNOW
IT’S HARD! But she really does not need the sleep,
she is just resisting the change. If you have an
especially alert Mummy, you can stop crying for
about 10 minutes, just long enough for her to go
back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then cry
again. It WILL eventually work. My Mummy once stayed
awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she can do
Last night, I cried every hour. You just have to
decide to stick to it and just go for it. BE
CONSISTENT! I cried for any reason I could come up
with .My sleep sack tickled my foot. I felt a wrinkle
under the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the
wall. I burped, and it tasted like pears. I hadn’t
eaten pears since lunch, what’s up with that? The
cat said "meow". I should know. My Mummy reminds me
of this about 20 times a day. LOL. Once I cried just
because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the
monitor in the other room. Too hot, too cold, just
right–doesn’t matter! Keep crying!! It took awhile,
but it worked. She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my
goal is 3:30am. You need to slowly shorten the
interval between feedings in order to reset your
Mummies’ internal clocks.
P.S. Don’t let those rubber things fool you, no
matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come
out. Trust me